Marauders: The Life Story
by Lost.and.Confused3
Summary: LJ lovehate. The marauders come together and decide to tell about their years at Hogwarts in a book. Rated for language. R
1. The Book

Prologue  
To a  
Marauders: The Life Story  
  
"Ohhhh...MOOOOONNNNNYYY!!!!!!!!! We need YOOOUUU...!"  
  
"Sirius! Don't call me that way; just ask me to come over politely. Someone might think you're calling your...your...! Hell I can't even say it!"  
  
"He means to say your midnight lover, Paddy!"  
  
"Ewww.... Don't ever think such a thing, again prongsie buddy! A moment of silence... And don't call me by that name ever again!!!"  
  
"Aww... come now Padfoot, you know that Jamesie-boy says it with the utmost affection."  
  
"Y-ya-yeah...Y-y-you guys s-s-shouldn't pick p-pick on J-James, h- he's always r-r-rightt..."  
  
"Enough, order at this table!!! Here we are, at the most holy place of all, Zonkos Magical Joke Shop, and we're all arguing!!!!!!!" Prongs, also known as James practically yelled at the other two. "Ahem, good now that I have all of your attention, back to the problem at hand."  
  
"YES SIR" the two other men around the table said in mock salute.  
  
From a distance, the sight of four grown men all talking around a book, wouldn't have seen so out of place, except for the fact that they all happen to be in Zonko's Magical Joke Shop. Which happens to be the gathering place for boys around the age of 5 and 15, and that is what really makes people wonder.  
  
Each man seemed to be around their early 20's, fresh out of Hogwarts the best School of Witches and Wizardry. The first man that draws your attention, a little more drawn back than the other three, had sandy blond hair that looked to be going silver, an odd thing for a man so young. Lines graced his face, giving him a more mature look and his eyes were a pale blue that seemed to hold an inner sadness that never seemed to go away, even as he smiled. This man, Remus Lupin, might have been the sicklier of the 4, and paler than the others, but he seemed to fit the part of a close friend in this tight circle.  
  
Peter Pettigrew, wasn't exactly what you called drawn back (not next to Remus) and he wasn't rambunctious as the two other men left, Peter seemed more like a little shadow that followed the others. His face that resembled a rat did carry watery blue eyes that darted around every so often, a small pointed nose and a small mop of blonde hair. The only of the men who was really short and plump, he didn't really seem to belong in the group. Still he sat on with the other men, and did seem to look as if he'd known them for a long time (which he had).  
  
The other two, looking more like brothers than anything were both taller and fuller built than the small Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Sirius Black was a man who looked far more handsome than men should've been aloud to be. Dark mischievous eyes set on a face that was filled with humorous mirth. He looked to naught have any care in the world, his black hair falling gracefully on his face in a devious and carefree way.  
  
The last man, the other half of the twin, and obvious ringleader of the group, James Potter was somewhat of a mirror image of Sirius Black to those who didn't know them. He too carried that mischievous glint in his hazel eyes, framed by thick black circular glasses. His physique was more lean and athletic, but still had the same muscular build of Sirius. He might not have been as debonair as Sirius, but he had a boyish handsome look to him that carried as much or even more charm as Sirius.  
  
These four brotherly and somewhat odd companions were all found this Friday, with a closer look, all surrounding a blank book.  
  
"Now my fellow Marauders, the point of this whole excursion, to come together and fill this book with all our incredible knowledge, so that we may help the future of all pranksters in knowing what we have strived to be and what they should strive for." James seemed to say with such seriousness, that Sirius and Remus gave him a standing ovation that made others stare even more.  
  
"Man it feels good to have you back, mate! We haven't hung out, since you asked Lily to marry you, and frankly that is a lot of time away from you best buddy of mine." Sirius said to James, while mocking Mrs. Universes everywhere with his awful attempt at an acceptance cry.  
  
At this moment, both boys got up and hugged each other, with fake tears in their eyes. Remus on the other hand, sat there and looked around. Upon seeing that majority of the little shop was outright staring at the two hormonal men, Remus decided it was time to scoot to the side as inconspicuously as possible, so as not to seems as if he was a part of the 2 other men.  
  
Peter just sat and watched the two men hug, not really thinking about anything but looking around every so often still. He twitched once and awhile, but that seemed to be normal to the 3 other men, after being with him for so long.  
  
Remus' snort caused both men to look up from their little emotional moment and see that he was still in his serious philosophical mode. "You say that, as if you weren't the man who sits at their table breakfast, lunch, and dinnertime everyday, since the day they moved in together. Heck you were already situated in the house, sleeping on the wooden floor before they even got through the front door. I'm surprised you weren't there when James proposed to Lily, and even more surprising is the fact that you're still alive, after all the trouble you caused in that house. But on a more important note, can you two not act like your long lost lovers that haven't seen each other in an eternity when I know for a fact that Sirius slept on your couch James just last night; and if you need a reason just look around."  
  
Both boys in question had immediately stopped bawling and when they looked around, they could see mothers pulling their children away so as not to see the two huge male men hugging. You could almost see the gears in James and Sirius' heads tick as they figured out why, and upon realization immediately pushed the other off as if they burned.  
  
But as they dusted themselves off, Sirius was the first to say retort. "Moony, why are you always picking on me. I never did anything wrong, I just came to their house a little earlier than they said, when they wanted us to come over and help move their things and so I naturally fell asleep on the only thing there, the floor. And I wasn't at the proposal because Prongs here threatened to hex me out of the house if I was around and said that I would screw up their magical moment, which I am very hurt at. Not wanting your own best mate around to take pictures of you two together." By now Sirius was trying to look like a hurt puppy that had gotten hit by mistake. James had had enough at this time, and gave Sirius a good whack in the back of his head. Sirius' head shot up, and he glared at James for hitting his precious hair, making Remus and James to crack up. Seeing both his mates laughing so, it didn't take long for Sirius to join in on the good humor.  
  
But Sirius wouldn't let Remus win the battle so soon, oh no, he had to keep the fun going. "Aw...was someone jealous! Come now Moony, if you wanted a hug from me all you had to do was ask! I mean, I know I've been leaving you out, but there's enough of me to go around."  
  
James and Remus just exchanged looks and rolled their eyes, as they packed their things and went out the door with Peter following closely behind. They were leaving poor Sirius behind, but they didn't seem to care.  
  
The three men had walked over to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream parlor and were situating themselves at a table at the front, just as Sirius came walking in. He looked mildly angry, but not so much that James, Remus, and Peter would give in. They just smiled happily at their mate and gestured for him to take his seat.  
  
James started this time, "Well the back to the main reason, I called both of you out today, which is so that we can start this little project. I mean we already finished the map and all in school, but somehow we bludgeoned that up..."  
  
"Hey, I didn't lose it, it was all Peter, and stop looking at me like that Remus" Sirius said looking around at the other men who seemed to be boring a hole through his head.  
  
"Yeah, but who forced Peter to go out and get you some food for you own needs?" Remus said with a look of distaste  
  
"..." Remus and James did stand up for me already was all that Peter thought about, even though that was a mean thing of Sirius to do.  
  
"Ahem...Anyways, as I was saying, I was reminded of our idea of a book we could leave for the rest of Hogwarts' future pranksters and for our future children to have. We said we'd get to that after the map, and I figure now is the best time."  
  
"Not to mention the fact that he gets an excuse to get out and away from Lily and her horde of wedding crazed girlfriends." Sirius muttered to Remus and Peter, who both snickered into their respectable hands in response.  
  
"You do realize that I'm sitting right here, Sirius? So obviously I can hear you, and it's obviously a bad idea to talk behind my back when I'm right in front of you." James said rather annoyed that they figured him out so easily and was going to sulk a bit about it.  
  
He didn't mind spending time with Lily and her friends, but a man could only take so much. And he felt outnumbered with so many women asking 'what should the color of the men's robes', or 'what kind of flowers go best with that color'. Frankly, James saw no point, because when he said one thing Lily said it wouldn't go well with what she planned so she proposed her own color and that was that. He was glad that Lily wanted him to be a part of the wedding, but he figured he'd be doing enough just showing up on the big day, what with all this wedding talk driving him crazy.  
  
By now, after his small little interlude, both Sirius and Remus had started bickering again. It seems that Sirius had 'accidentally' spilled Remus ice cream float on Remus. Sirius also slyly voiced his thoughts on Remus buying him an ice cream since Remus would go up and buy himself another one anyway. James getting rather tired and knowing that Armageddon would get on, before either side would give in, stood up. So he being the bigger man (not literally) went on and bought all the men ice cream as well as one for himself.  
  
Sirius now happily licking his ice cream cone, and Remus, having gone through these kinds of arguments before with Sirius, was content enough to let go of it for now to enjoy his ice cream float. Peter, just like everyone else enjoyed his ice cream in peace. Seeing peace being restored, decided to begin the idea of the little project over again. Hoping that they might actually get something done, and this day not being a complete waste.  
  
"So you guys, what do you think? A little book on the kinds..." That's all that James got out before Sirius rudely interrupted him.  
  
"Oh... do you mean a sort of autobiography on the 4 famous marauders! Or even better, a mini series on 'the Amazing adventures of the 4 stud-like creatures of Hogwarts' well, that won't work. Peter wasn't exactly a stud; hell he still isn't one the poor bloke. And no offense of course (we can work on that)! But don't you think this will be awesome! We'll be legends, I mean I know its sucked during school, coz we never really went public, but now we will be!" Remus could already see Sirius' thoughts as he said this. He could already see, the book turning into a book to help Sirius further his egotistical mind.  
  
"Yeah Sirius, a mini series...Why don't we just have a book filled with mini stories on all the pranks we ever did, and how kids can go about starting their own pranks? Or how about going back to how we began to form into what we are now known as the Marauders. Like a biography about our time in Hogwarts? Is that what you had in mind, James? Coz I'm all for it, it sounds like fun and its not as if I have anything else better to do with no job." The guys looked rather guiltily at each other as Remus said this.  
  
All three men, not so much Peter, knew of Remus' problem at getting jobs because of his secret full moon ailment and both men felt bad at not being able to help. No matter how hard they tried, Remus always refused what he called 'charity' from the two other men. They in turn understood and relented to his wishes, but still they felt awful at seeing one of their close friends going through this kind of discrimination when he wasn't at all a bad guy. This was also one of the first times, Remus had returned to England since school ended, because he was always on the search for a cure. At least, they hoped this new project would make him a little happy, reminiscing over past memories and forgetting their worries for awhile was always a great way to do that.  
  
"I know what you guys are thinking, and I'm just fine, alright! So how do we start, O fearless leader?" This question, brought on by Remus, cause Peter, Remus and Sirius to stare at James now.  
  
"Why is it that I always get put on the spotlight? I thought this was supposed to be a joint project, meaning we ALL do it TOGETHER" James said in an exasperated tone of voice. "Keywords being 'All' and 'Together'."  
  
"Yeah, but Prongssss... you know you're the unofficial leader of the Marauders and you always led us in every prank, just organize it for us!!" Sirius practically whined to James. And all he got in response was an eye roll.  
  
"Yeah Prongs, would you rather spend your time organizing your wedding with the crazed girlfriends of your fiancé, or with us your best mates? I could always ask Lily, because we're all sure she's great at organizing little things like these, and that you've already told her all about this little plan on corrupting other peoples little kids. (Sirius- "Yeah... right...Like, I bet you she's all for it, mate")" Remus all but said in sugary tones.  
  
"Damn, you blackmailing...little.... fine, I'll do it! So first order of business, I guess would be assigning jobs." James didn't look too sure seeing as; he'd basically only led pranks not the writing of books on pranks.  
  
Time for a little pay back on Moony for twisting my arm like that, with a quick glance at Sirius and Peter to let them know something was up. James said in a speedy voice, "Frankly we need a writer for this, which I vote for Remus. And all who vote for him raise their hands and yell "aye!" In which Sirius, Peter and James raised their hands and yelled 'aye' before Remus even got a chance to say anything. "Alright, settles in a 3 to 1 vote. No changes aloud without another change in votes, unless Sirius wants to be sleeping on the streets and I know you won't go against what you want Peter, am I understood. Good, done"  
  
"That was a totally underhanded and despicable way of doing things, Prongs and I for one..." Remus had begun one of his long tirades and that's all he got out.  
  
"Which is exactly why he became leader of us, and I'm proud of you Prongsie!" Sirius smiled cheekily at him, knowing full well how James would react.  
  
A very glum looking James smacked Sirius in the back of the head as he started to put him in the full nelson "Didn't I tell you not to call me that? I swear I'm going to keep you locked like this till you say 'uncle', Sirius!! Now say it!!"  
  
Peter watched on, once again. And seemed to be enjoying this little act of sportsmanship, so he really didn't pay much attention to Remus.  
  
"Ahh...good times, with good friends. It almost reminds me of our time in Hogwarts. O well, I'll just start with this book..." Remus murmured as he picked up the blank book they'd been looking at all day. Why do I always get stuck with the dirty work? And he began to write:  
  
And this is how our story begins... 


	2. Meetings on the Train

James and Sirius are crashing their trolleys into to people on platform 9 ¾ their first day of their first year at Hogwarts, when they first meet.  
  
James crashes into another little first year and, as he's running away, he sees another boy doing the same thing. "That little bugger! He's obviously is copying me! I am the master of pranks!"  
  
Mean while Sirius is thinking, "Who is that jerk!? He's stealing my style!"  
  
The boys, both wanting to get the other one for stealing their styles, run their trolleys into each other. "Ow!" Rubbing their heads they looked at the other.  
  
"I'm James."  
  
"Sirius."  
  
They look toward the platform entrance, where (in James' eyes) a goddess had just walked in. James walks over to her with Sirius following. "Hi. I'm James," he started, unable to keep his voice steady, "I'm- I'm- I'm rich!"  
  
The girl rolled her eyes, "I'm Lily, and if you're so rich, why does your hair look like a hobo's?" then walked over to someone she obviously knew, muttering, "Wow, what an absolute idiot!"  
  
"Yeah, and he needs to brush his hair," said her friend, before they walked away, talking.  
  
James glared after them. "I do not," he said, trying to flatten his wild hair. "It just grows that way."  
  
"Smooth." James hit Sirius on the head. They talked a bit more before Sirius finally said, "Whatever, man, I'm out of here." He pushed his trolley to the luggage compartment and went to find a compartment to sit in. He found one near the back. It had one person in it, who was completely absorbed in a rather large novel. Even with his nose in the book, Sirius immediately recognized him as his best friend, Remus. "Hey, Remus ol' buddy, ol' pal!"  
  
"You hug me, you die," came the voice from behind the book.  
  
Sirius stopped, his arms were outstretched, and he was inches from hugging Remus. "Meany," he said dropping his arms to his sides and plopped into the empty seat next to his friend. "How're you holding up?"  
  
"I'm fine. How about you?" He answered, never taking his eyes off his book.  
  
"I'm great! I'm going to school! Pranks! Pranks!! Pranks!!!"  
  
"Typical Sirius."  
  
"I get to do pranks!! On teachers! Think of all the possibilities!"  
  
"Oh don't you dare," he answered, finally putting down his book, and putting it in one of his bags on the other side of him. "You'll be expelled in a day!"  
  
"Like I'll get caught," Sirius swelled with his over bloated ego.  
  
"Like, you will."  
  
"Will not!"  
  
"You will too. Dumbledore knows all."  
  
Suddenly Sirius gasped, "You're right!"  
  
"I'm always right."  
  
"But Dumbledore won't expel us!" Then he thought about what Remus had just said. "No you're not!"  
  
"I'm am too so there." He received a scowl from this, so he quickly changed the subject, "Who's you're friend?"  
  
"Huh? Who?"  
  
"I saw you run into some kid and start talking with them. Who was he?"  
  
"Oh, him. He's just this weird kid I met who has a crush on this weird girl he just met. Great prankster!! Think we should team up?"  
  
"With a guy you've barely met?"  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, "So, does this 'weird kid' have a name? Or were his parents really mean?"  
  
Sirius laughed softly, "Nah, his name is James." Then his eyes suddenly lit up and grew as big as dinner plates, "Or maybe, his parents were really mean, and he lied to me about his name being James!"  
  
His eyes got big and round, but Remus just rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Grow up."  
  
Sirius' eyes returned to their normal size, "Hey! I'm perfectly mature, thank you very much."  
  
Remus rolled his eyes again, "I'm sorry, yes you are. You're perfectly mature for a two-year-old."  
  
"Hey! I'm 11, thank you, and I act like a 18-year-old." Sirius said proudly.  
  
"If that's so, I don't want to see you, or any one for that matter, at 18."  
  
Sirius glared at him, "Meany. Just because you act like you're 80, doesn't mean everyone else has to!"  
  
The compartment door suddenly opened and a young girl walked in. The same girl the James had ran into on the platform. She looked around the empty compartment, "Uh, do you mind if I sit here?" It was obvious that she really didn't want to. "All the other compartments are full..." She flicked her red hair back to reveal her bright green eyes.  
  
Sirius ignored her completely, "No, go away. We're busy." He turned back to Remus and then did a double take, "Wait..."  
  
Remus, sensing trouble, quickly said, "Sirius, play nice."  
  
But Sirius wasn't listening, "You're that girl that James...erm...doesn't like."  
  
Remus shook his head softly and muttered, "Very subtle."  
  
The girl laughed at the two boys and said, "Is James that idiot who's back there in the other compartment?"  
  
Remus truly didn't know, but to save this James fellow's butt and whatever dignity he had left he said, "Sure, you can sit here," in the hope that this might make her forget about what Sirius had said.  
  
"Thanks," she sat down gracefully in the seat across from them.  
  
Sirius looked her up and down, "What happened to your friend?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The person you were talking to. After you walked away."  
  
"Oh her. I don't know. I told her I'd give her three Galleons if she walked we me and pretended she knew me so I could get away from that imbecile," even Sirius had trouble no laughing at that.  
  
"What's your name?" said Remus finally.  
  
She smiled, and said very politely, "Lily Evans. Yours?"  
  
"Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you, Lily."  
  
"Nice to meet you too, Remus."  
  
Sirius was staring out the window, and said mockingly, in a high pitch that sounded nothing like Lily, "'Nice to meet you too, Remus.'"  
  
Remus ignored him and added, "This is my friend, Sirius Black, who thankfully is keeping his mouth shut."  
  
"Hey!" They glared at each other, "Just to let you know, I am an intelligent individual who is simply misunderstood."  
  
Remus said, "You sure are, because I thought you just said 'intelligent'"  
  
At the same time Lily said, "Wow, look at all those big words you said! Can you count to 10?"  
  
Sirius glared at them both.  
  
"Good one, Lily."  
  
"Ditto, Remus." She smiled, "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."  
  
Sirius looked disgusted. "Remmie!!! Don't take her side! I'm you best friend! Remember?!"  
  
Remus sighed heavily, "No. I'm sorry, I have amnesia."  
  
Lily laughed slightly, trying to keep from bursting, and rolling on the floor. Sirius glared at her, then looked confused, "Is amnesia where you can't move your arm or where you have failing eyesight?"  
  
Lily and Remus exchanged amused looks before Lily said, "I'll let you live in bliss of your own ignorance."  
  
Sirius scowled at her, "Don't use such big words! It's not my fault you all are little smarty-pants!"  
  
Lily looked down at her lap, "I'm not wearing pants." Both boys looked at her. "I'm wearing a skirt," she said with a smug smile on her face. Sirius glared at her.  
  
Remus, holding back laughter said plainly, "It means, she'll let you be stupid."  
  
Sirius nodded his head, "Oh okay...Hey! I am not!"  
  
Quickly changing the subject Remus asked, "So...What year are you in, Lily?"  
  
"First!" She said excitedly.  
  
"Same here!"  
  
Her face lit up. "Are you both from wizarding families?! I'm muggle born...this is all so exciting! I'd never imagined that magic was real!"  
  
"Idiot," Sirius muttered as Remus elbows him in the side.  
  
"Says the world's stupidest person," Lily said with a smile as Sirius screamed in pain and tried in vain to slap Remus.  
  
"Yes," Remus said, again ignoring Sirius as he made another attempt to slap him, "we're both from wizarding families." Sirius lunged at him again and fell face first on the floor as Remus ducked.  
  
"Really?" Lily was trying not to laugh too hard at Sirius' pain, but she was failing badly and looked like she was about to cry. "What's it like?"  
  
Remus who wasn't expecting that question looked around not knowing what to say, "I don't know...pretty normal, I mean to us. What's it like living as a muggle?"  
  
"Normal... I mean, we watch TV, go to movies, go to school..."  
  
"TV? Movies? What's that?"  
  
"Don't you know? They're like...visual stories. Don't you have them?"  
  
Sirius, who was walking sheepishly back to his seat still rubbing his head, muttered sarcastically, "Would we ask if we had them?"  
  
Remus elbowed Sirius and hushed his yelp. "No," he said returning to Lily. "We don't have anything like that."  
  
"Oh." The compartment was suddenly thrown into a long awkward silence as no one could figure out what to say next.  
  
"So..."Remus said trying to start back up the conversation. "What are your parents like? How'd they react when they found out you were a witch?"  
  
"Oh, they're great! After they figured out it wasn't just some prank, they were really supportive and just loved the idea of a witch in the family." Her lit up and her green eyes sparkled like diamonds as she spoke of them. It was obvious that she cared very much for her family. "Though...my sister looked a bit freaked out about the whole thing. Oh well, she'll get over it, right?"  
  
"But will she get over you? You need a personality change." Remus suddenly jabbed his elbow into Sirius' said harder then he had before. "HOLY CRAP! OW!!!!!!" Lily giggled slightly.  
  
"Is it just the one sister then?" Asked Remus ignoring Sirius' death glares.  
  
"Yes," Lily said when she had got her giggles under control. "Do you have any sibs?" Sirius looked back and forth between Lily and Remus trying to figure out what "sibs" meant.  
  
"Um...no. I don't."  
  
"WHAT DID SHE SAY?! USE EASY WORDS!!!"  
  
"Brothers or sisters," Remus answered plainly.  
  
"Oh. Mine's a—"  
  
"Sirius!" Remus suddenly clasped his hand over Sirius' mouth.  
  
"Sirius, use appropriate language," Lily scolded as if she had suddenly become his mother.  
  
"Um...he has one brother," Remus started, choosing his words carefully. He knew one wrong word might set Sirius off like a time bomb. "He doesn't like him very much."  
  
"'He doesn't like him very much.' I hate him! He's like my mom only worse...he's himself!!"  
  
"I was putting it lightly. Anyway...new subject. What house do you think you're going to be put in?"  
  
"Griffindor!! No doubt about it," Sirius suddenly lightened up a considerable amount. "If they try to put me in any other, especially Slytherin, I will let them...erm...talk to you, Remus, on one of your 'days'."  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and turned to Lily, who looked utterly confused. "Um...I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't really want to know...but, I'm not exactly sure what the houses are..."  
  
Remus slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Of course you don't. There's Griffindor, and Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw, and the other one, (if you're in there we'll probably never speak to you again,) is Slytherin. Everyone's convinced I'll be in Ravenclaw."  
  
"What do the houses mean? I mean, what's so bad about Slytherin?"  
  
"Slytherins are evil!!!" Came a sudden shout from Sirius, getting answered only by yet another elbow in the side by Remus.  
  
"Slytherins tend to be...uh...not so nice."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
Remus noticed that Lily now looked really worried that she might be in Slytherin, and the first people she talked to might never talk to her again. "Uh...you probably won't be in there anyway, you're muggle," Lily looked up suddenly, hurt that he would say something like that, so he quickly added, "Slytherins don't really like muggles," to show that he didn't think that, it was just what usually happened.  
  
"That's prejudice!"  
  
"That's Slytherins."  
  
"We can be just as good as any other witch or wizard! It said so in those textbooks! If they don't like me, then I don't like them."  
  
"Then most likely you wont be in there."  
  
This made Lily smiled satisfactorily, "What do the houses mean?"  
  
"Well, Griffendors are brave," Remus numbered them off on his fingers, "Ravenclaws are smart, Hufflepuffs are loyal, and Slytherins call themselves clever and ambitious,"  
  
"Though most of them are complete idiots, and only ambition is to kill as many muggles as they can," Sirius added with a scowl.  
  
"Oh," Lily now seemed a bit scared of Sirius. She turned back to Remus, "What house do you think I'll be in?"  
  
"I don't know, only the hat can tell. But you seem pretty smart, maybe you'll be in Ravenclaw with me."  
  
Remus could have sworn he saw Lily blush a little, or maybe that was just a trick of the light, because next second it was gone. "That's great! Then I'll have a friend I can talk to in the house."  
  
"Yeah right! Remmie's coming with me into Griffindor! You can't have him!" Sirius said grabbing Remus in to a tight hug that felt more like a headlock, and sticking his tongue out at Lily.  
  
Remus somehow got out of the "hug" by hitting Sirius on the head. After regaining his breath, he added calmly, "You really can't choose which house you're in. It's all based on your abilities."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes, "So?! You're coming with me, or I'll bash that hat in!!!"  
  
"I'd like to see you try," Remus said in a stern voice.  
  
Sirius, who misinterpreted the voice as egging him on, just said, "Watch me."  
  
"I'd love to. Dumbledore will send a troll on you in a second without a second thought. That hat is centuries old. It was made by the founders of the school!"  
  
"You're right," said Sirius taking a deep breath and sinking into his seat.  
  
Remus, who was amazed to see his friend give up so easy, could only say, "I am?"  
  
"Yeah. It's centuries old, it time they found a replacement!" He said grinning from ear to ear.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, he should of known. "If Dumbledore doesn't send a troll on you, you know Filch will."  
  
"Okay guys, what's with the hat, and who are Dumbledore and Filch?"  
  
"They're teachers or...no. Dumbledore is the headmaster, and Filch is the caretaker," Remus explained.  
  
"And that makes the hat a teacher?"  
  
"No the hat puts you in the houses."  
  
"Oh. Are they nice? Dumbledore and Filch I mean."  
  
"Filch is evil!!!!!" Sirius suddenly shouted, only to get himself elbowed by Remus once again. "OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Would you quit with the elbowing! I'm going to have a bruise there, and if Madam Pomfrey asks, I'll be forced to tell her that my ex-friend hit me repeatedly!!"  
  
"Um...we haven't really met them. But people say that Dumbledore is really nice and Filch is...not quite so."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah." Remus put his forehead up against the cool windowpane of the compartment window. He looked out over the landscape and suddenly realized something, "Oh crap." The other two students looked at him bewildered, and so he added, "We're almost there, we should have changed into our uniforms by now." The three had just enough time to exchange worried looks when the train stopped suddenly at the Hogsmeade station. "Uh oh." 


	3. The Sorting

Remus, Sirius, and Lily jumped out of their compartment after everyone else had. They had quickly changed into their school uniforms, and as a result, it looked like something more then talking was going on in that compartment.

Not knowing what was going on, they followed a group of students that appeared to be in their first year. They followed them to the edge of a lake were many small boats were lined up. A huge man was leading the students and said in a loud voice that they were going to go across the lake, and no more then three to a boat.

The three walked across the lake, trying to find an empty boat. The closest they saw to an empty boat, was one with a boy inside. He was rather chubby, and short with sandy blonde hair, and watery blue eyes. He was clinging to the sides of the boat, and it was clear he'd rather be on dry ground.

The two boys looked from the almost empty boat to their female comrade. Sirius turned to Remus and shrugged, then turned back to Lily, muttered a small "Good-bye," and got in the boat with the boy. Remus looked at Sirius, and rolled his eyes, "See you in the castle, okay Lil? We'll sit together, that is if we're in the same house." The redhead just rolled her eyes, and started walking off.

At this point, both boys turned to face the other occupant of their small boat. He was looking at them with his watery blue eyes, amazed that someone just sat with him. Sirius couldn't help but notice how much he looked like a rat.

"Uh...hello?" Remus began slowly. "My name is Remus Lupin. What's yours?"

The boy's eyes got suddenly very big and round once he realized Remus was talking to _him_. "P-P-Peter. My name's Peter Pettigrew," he said with a weak smile that quickly faded away.

"Hi"

The boats started moving slowly. Sirius looked out over the water to see if Lily had gotten in a boat. He saw her and started laughing. He punched Remus in the side and pointed across the water to a small boat holding three people. A girl who had her chestnut hair up in a tight ponytail, a very cross-looking Lily, and a grinning boy with messy black hair and huge black glasses that Remus could only assume was James by the way Sirius was laughing.

The two of them watched as James tried to scoot closer to Lily, who promptly slapped him. They then started shouting at each other loud enough for a few choice words drifted over the lake, such as "You little berk," "Ass kisser," and "Bastard!" There was a large splash as Lily pushed James out of the boat and into the lake.

It was going to be a long ride to the castle.

The finally got to the castle and were lead up a flight of stairs by a very severe looking woman. She led them right in front of two large oak doors before she turned around. "My name is Professor McGonagall, deputy headmistress. In a few minutes, you shall be sorted into your houses—"

But Remus and Sirius never heard the rest of her speech. A very wet James Potter came up behind them and put a soaking wet hand on each of their shoulders. "Hey Sirius, my buddy, my pal...and Sirius' friends...hi." James stuck a wet hand out to Remus and Peter, who both slowly shook it.

"So, I saw what happened between you and Lily. Burn," Sirius said finally to break the awkward silence between his two friends.

James laughed softly so that Professor McGonagall, who was still talking, could not hear him, "She's just playing hard to get. Just you see, by the end of the feast, she'll be all over me."

Remus really doubted that, but smiled politely just the same. He turned his head up to catch the last part of the professor's speech, but found she wasn't there, "Where'd McGonagall go?"

A certain redhead came up behind them with the girl from the boat, "She went into the Great Hall to see if they were ready for us. Weren't you listening?" Her eye caught James, "Oh, _he_'s here. No wonder you didn't hear. You wouldn't, not with this bloke here." James didn't seem despaired by this comment; he just flashed a wide grin at her. Lily rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Idiot."

At that moment, McGonagall came through the large oak doors, and beckoned them to follow her. They entered to find themselves in a large dinning room large enough to fit three large tables. They looked up to see candles floating, and further up to see the sky that was black and covered with bright little stars. It looked exactly like the sky outside.

The students walked up the aisle between two of the tables. Everyone was staring at them. They walked up and assembled in front of a small three-legged stool with an old hat perched on it. "That's the Sorting Hat," Remus whispered to a very wide-eyed Lily.

"Let the sorting begin!"

"Accosta, Benjamin," McGonagall called out. A tall, lanky boy walked forward. Almost before the hat was on his head it shouted out, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

James glanced at Lily who was whispering nervously to her friend. He barely noticed "Agarfalls, Jonathan" become a Ravenclaw.

"What ever house I'm in, I just hope I'm not with Potter," Lily whispered to her new friend as "Birdie, Jordan" was sorted into Slytherin.

"Knock 'em dead!" James shouted when McGonagall called, "Black Sirius."

Sirius stuck his tongue out at James as a few people giggled as James grinned innocently. He sat on the small stool as the hat was placed over his head. After a few seconds Sirius made a face that looked like he just had a full bottle of vinegar poured down his throat. Remus chuckled softly, he knew the hat had just suggested Slytherin, and now Sirius looked like he was about to kill it. It finally shouted, "GRIFFINDOR!" and Sirius, smiling smugly, took he's seat at the Griffindor table.

Lily rolled her eyes. She realized they were on E's when "Eddens, Katy" became a Griffindor. Lily was now on pins and needles, "Elliot, Paul" became a Griffindor, "Emerson, Johanna" became a Ravenclaw, "Etienne, Angelica" became a Hufflepuff and then "Evans, Lily."

Lily stepped forward slightly. She sat slowly on the stool and the hat was placed on her head. She could see nothing. James Potter watched, holding his breath, "Griffindor. Griffindor. Please, Griffindor. You old bag of a hat better put her in Griffindor or I'll throw you in that little lake and if that doesn't work I'll burn you. Come on, Griffindor," he whispered. Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing.

But in the end, James got his wish, "GRIFFINDOR!"

"YES!!!"

"Oh no," Lily muttered suddenly as she placed the hat back on the stool and went over to join her fellow Griffindors at their table. She sat silently, and watched a few more first years get sorted trying to ignore James, who kept looking over at her and smiling.

"Flyby, Nicole." Lily watched as her friend from the boat walked up and the hat was placed on her head.

Lily closed her eyes, "Come on, Griffindor. Don't you dare leave me here alone with Black and Potter!"

"GRIFFINDOR!" came the hat's sudden shout, making Lily jump. The girl jumped off the stool, put the hat back on it, and ran to rejoin her friend.

Sitting down next to Lily, the girl said, "They called me Nicole, I hate it when they call me Nicole. I mean, how much harder is it to remember 'Nikki'?"

Lily laughed and turned back to watch as "Garth, Stuart" got sorted into Ravenclaw.

"I wish the food would get here soon. I'm starving! I mean all I had on the train was a few every flavour beans. I stopped eating when I tasted a vomit flavour one, I thought I was going to have to taste it again if you no what I mean." Lily giggled causing "Gudgeon, Davey" to look over at her suspiciously before he went up to be sorted.

Nikki and Lily continued to whisper excitedly before they noticed a small boy with messy black hair staring at them with ice blue eyes. "Hi. I'm Davey. I got sorted into Griffindor."

Lily nodded her head, "Yes, I see that."

Davey's smile widened. "The hat said I was brave," he said puffing out his chest.

"Great. We'll call you if a mouse runs by. Okay? Bye bye," said Nikki as she tried to physically force him to leave. He glared at her but switched seats just the same. "I think he likes you," she said once he was gone.

"Right, sure."

"No, I'm serious. I think he was showing off."

"Great just what I need; another kid with messy black hair drooling over me."

"You seem to attract them. I thought that Potter kid would never go away. I think he likes you too."

"Thank you, Mrs. Obvious. I wish he drowned in lake."

"Yeah, but he is kind of cute though."

Lily turned to her friend with a look of hatred and disgust, "Potter?! Cute?! Don't make me hurt you. I'll learn some really good curses and then I'll hex you."

Nikki laughed, "Yeah, _sure_ you would."

"Don't tempt me."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Wait, that's my cousin. GO ALLISON!!"

"Hill, Allison," who looked remarkably like Nikki with her curly brown hair in a ponytail, waved energetically at her cousin. She walked bouncingly toward the ragged hat. Before it barely touched her head, it shouted out, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"GO ALLISON! THAT'S MY GIRL!"

"OKAY! CATCH YOU LATER, NIKKI!!" and she ran and sat down with the rest of the Hufflepuffs.

Nikki started randomly pointing at people in the line, "That's my brother, that's my sister, that's my cousin's half-sister's cousin!"

Back in the ice cream shop Remus was receiving odd looks from his friends, "What?"

"When did that happen?"

"I can't remember her family. It way too confusing, but I swear that was in there somewhere."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Nikki's an only child."

"Only you would know that."

"Hey! I take care of my women!"

"Nikki was never 'your woman.'"

"Yeah. Whatever. Continue Remus."

Remus looked around, crossed out the last paragraph and continued...

"So, where's your family?" Nikki asked realising that Lily had not yet pointed any one out.

"Um...I'm muggleborn so...uh...they're in London."

"Oh right. They're muggles. Do you miss them? I've always had at least a couple members of my family around be _wherever_ I go. I've never really been away from them. How many siblings do you have?"

"One...regrettably...a sister named Petunia."

Nikki waited. "That's it?! One sister! Oh that's full sister I bet. Any half sisters? Stepsisters?" Lily shook her head slowly. "Wow. Small family."

"What about you? You're family seems interesting? What's it like?" Lily asked trying to get off the subject of her apparent "small family."

Back in the ice cream shop:

"Sirius! Help me!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and pushed the deranged werewolf away from the small book, and began writing in considerably messier handwriting, with grammar and spelling that made Remus cringe.

"Hey Remus did you see that crazy girl by Lily? It almost seems like..."

"It almost seems like what, Sirius?" Remus asked in a lame tone, hoping to any higher power above that he wouldn't have to regret prompting Sirius to start.

"Well the way they were cheering on for each other, you'd have thought they were...well...they were lesbians or something!" Sirius blurted out with a grin.

A mere two or three seats down from there, Lily couldn't help but listen in on them. Nikki was just about ready to tell her about her family, when some other family member...too many to really care, anymore...was asked to step up for the sorting. More cheering from the overly energetic girl could be heard.

I don't see how calling her...sister, I hope that's what she was...'that's my girl' could be warrant enough to be dubbed lesbians. I picture her more of a cheerleader or maybe a gym freak with that type of energy.

"Sirius! That's not something you take so lightly—"

"Yeah Sirius, your such a perverted git!" Lily decided it was time to stop all of the petty talk on her oblivious friend. "It's mighty sick, seeing as the girl Nikki was rooting for was her sister...I think"

"Actually it was my cousin, she's a halfblood. But we're close like sisters." Nikki decided to jump in on the subject, a subject she was most profoundly interested in. Of course you'd be too, if you had a family as strange if not as big as hers.

Sirius muttered to Remus behind the back of his hand "More like look like sisters... Don't you think, Remus?" Remus just ignored him, of course.

"I'm sorry about that Nikki, Sirius meant, that he thought you guys were sisters from your looks." Lily decided to be kind enough to cover for him. She didn't want to lose a friend so soon.

"No problem, many people make that mistake. I mean I also take after my other cousin from the other side. Her name's Samantha White, and she'll be sorted pretty soon, too!"

"There are more of you?" Remus inquired. "Just how many? Ehh...I didn't mean to sound rude, you don't have to answer that." Remus was beginning to blush, _I'm starting to act as bad as Sirius does._

_"_Oh, no! It wasn't rude at all. There's probably only about seven of us, this year." Nikki replied absentmindedly, tallying up the numbers.

Sirius just gawked at her, "Then what was with all the rooting! I swear you rooted for about twenty of those people!"

Nikki laughed right out loud, as both Lily and Remus smacked him at the same time. "Well, sorry. Those were friends that I'd made on the train... don't tell me you didn't make any?"

Lily smirked at him. "Well, Sirius. It seems like she got you back for all of those little comments you made earlier. I mean I might even begin to think that you might've been holding a little flame for James, with your logic." Before Sirius could do anything, Remus thought it was about time to intervene.

With a little cough, Remus decided to bring it back to Nikki. "So, are any of the seven relatives your siblings?"

"Nope, I'm an only little muggleborn. Though my dad is a squib... we live a muggle life."

"So the other 4, Allison and some random person being your cousins on opposite sides of the family, are...extras?" Lily timidly asked. Family relations were one thing she'd never had a problem with. What with having a small family, what was the point?

"Well, I think they're more like extended family, or distant relatives. Because they're not really related to 'me' directly, it's kind of like a big circle." Nikki said thoughtfully, trying really hard to think of a way to say all of this.

"Well, it's not like we have anything else better to talk about. These people are still going at it with the sorting and all. Why not elaborate, my dear Nikki?" Sirius grinned charmingly at her, much to Remus and Lily's disgust.

Nikki, who was oblivious to the fact that Sirius was hitting on her, continued, "Well, my dad's sister's daughter is Allison Hill (over there at the Hufflepuff table), and my father's other sister's daughter just got sorted." She then started waving at another girl with long blonde hair and glasses over at the Slytherin table. "That's Nona Kaffer. And my mother's sister's daughter is over there (Right there, that's Samantha White). Her dad's ex-wife's daughter's here too (that girl next to Samantha. Yeah there, that's Sahara White). You following so far?"

The three nodded slowly, each not wanting to be the first to say they had no clue what she was talking about.

"Okay, good." Nikki of course failed to notice all the blank stares around her, just kept going. "Because here's where it gets tricky."

Nikki started to look a bit nervous at this part, like she wasn't telling the others everything. "Sahara's mother had two sisters. The first sister has a daughter (she over there on the other side of Sahara) her name is Arisu Shimada. Now the other sister is dead. Deatheaters killed her and her husband awhile back. Their daughter was Yuna Urameshi (that's her, waving at Nona). Yuna was at Nona's house when it happened. When she heard the news she was devastated. But the next day Mr. and Mrs. Kaffer adopted her, and I got a new cousin! Now who am I forgetting?"

As she counted off the names on her fingers, the other three looked at each other in utter bewilderment. "No one! That's it!" Nikki finally exclaimed.

"You're all girls then?" asked Sirius after he understood at least part of what Nikki had just said.

"Of course that's the only part Sirius wants to know about." Lily muttered out of the side of her mouth to a snickering Remus.

"Well, I guess you could say it runs in the family," she said and then giggled.

"How on earth can you remember that all?!"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know if that's really what she said or not, but after seven years, you can pretty much write her entire life story."

"I never knew you heard what Lily said," Remus said, looking a bit guilty, and chewing his lip nervously.

Sirius chuckled, "There's a bit more up here than moths you know," he said tapping his forehead. Then he quickly flashed them all a very toothy smile. "Okay, Moony, your turn," he said, passing the book to Remus as James rolled on the floor laughing at the thought of Sirius having _anything_ in his head, Peter looked at him, as though to question his sanity, and the entire ice cream shop stared at them all, thinking along the same lines as Peter.

They talked a bit longer about any thing they could think of until McGonagall called, "Shimada, Arisu."

"Everybody shhh," she said hurriedly hushing the other three. Then, not taking her own advice began shouting at the girl that was her mother's sister's husband's ex-wife's sister's daughter. "HEY ARISU! HEY! GOOD LUCK!" Arisu smiled, waved slightly and stepped up to be sorted. A few minutes later, "RAVENCLAW!"

"Hey what about me?" James said suddenly getting off the floor.

"What?"

"Yeah and me too," Peter piped up.

Remus' eyes widened, "Oh yeah! I forgot!"

"You forgot two of your best friends?!"

"Shut up or I'll write you out of the book!" James shut his mouth. "That's better. Now I'll go beck and fix that." Remus flicked his wand and the text split to reveal a portion of unmarked paper.

"Pettigrew, Peter."

"Isn't that the boy you shared the boat with?" Lily asked pointing at the mousy boy.

"Yeah. He's probably going to be in Hufflepuff." Sirius said watching the boy shake as he stepped slowly toward the hat. "He looks like he thinks the hat's got fangs or something." He said with a laugh.

They were all surprised with the house shouted, "GRIFFINDOR!" and they boy came to sit with them. He sat between Sirius and Remus and would every once and a while look around nervously, and bit his lower lip.

"Potter, James," Lily's head shot up and she listened intently. Sirius noticed this and smirked. Almost before the hat touched his head though it yelled, "GRIFFINDOR!"

Lily let her head fall back down with a thud on the table, "Damn."

"There! We're back to where we started can I continue now?"

James, who looked thoroughly pleased with himself nodded gleefully.

"Urameshi, Yuna" was the next to get yelled at by her mother's sister's ex-husband's wife's sister's daughter before she was sorted into "SLYTHERIN!" and she sat down next to Nona. Yuna was closely followed by "White, Sahara" who went to join the other Ravenclaws and "White, Samantha" who followed her half-sister.

The sorting concluded with, "Zebrine, Brian" who became a Slytherin. After that, the feast began, and the friends were to busy with there food to talk much. But they did jabber excitedly as they followed the Griffindor prefect to the common room, but they broke away quickly as they all split and went to their resident dormitories, and immediately fell asleep.


End file.
